1. "The dramatic change of heart that Huck—and therefore we—have toward Jim the slave is one of the points in the narrative where the first person storytelling works its strongest magic." My question concerning this sentence that I wrote last year is about the em dashes. Could I have used a comma? Or are the em dashes the only punctuation that would work there? The parenthetical phrase IS necessary because my point was that we and the main character are made one in Twain's usage of the first person. However, now that I have read more of Garner's thoughts about punctuation, I am unsure if these em dashes are the only or correct thing that I could have incorporated.
2. "And so the country, despite all its turmoil, continued to run." I would not be criticizing this particular sentence, except for the fact that I used this style of interrupting my own thought to insert a parenthetical phrase several times earlier in the same paper. It gets repetitive. In order to avoid this issue, I could have simply put that phrase-"despite all its turmoil"-at either the beginning or the end of the sentence.
3. "World War I has just begun, and America, along with the rest of the world, is in turmoil." I'm just too comma-happy. The comma before "and" is not necessary whatsoever and even goes so far as to interrupt the flow of the sentence. I've become very aware of this little issue as I read through last year's writings.
Thank you for your time, your efforts, your initiatives and your concern for your people. (Stylistic Problem?)
For instance, in using poor time-management, I get fidgety, lose concentration, then my mind wonders one million miles away and back again via a paddle boat, unicycle, and Galapagos turtle ride.
Fifteen hours is attainable to some, but when home lives, such as aiding in the care of our elders, working full time jobs, and course work for the demanded number of credit hours is combined into the equation, it makes for a difficult balance to be involved in the tribe as well.
The teacher's job, then, is to encourage and guide students through this model without imposing an interpretation or stock response on them (Perry, 24).
This can be something as significant as verbal confirmation, or as minuscule as evidence that the student has been reading the book in his/her own time.
“It is a wonderful design, flowing around the jar almost as if it is embracing it, or better yet, protecting it.” I picked to use this sentence purely out of confusion. I remember wondering, as I wrote it, if I had placed my commas correctly. Honestly, I didn’t know if I needed yet another comma after the word ‘or’. I say this because I usually like to enclose phrases such as ‘better yet’ in between commas.
“After all, Tartuffe needs for certain people to believe that he is, in fact, the great man he makes himself out to be, a loving Christian soul that hates anything he perceives as wicked.” I included this sentence because of the very last comma. Now that I am a more experienced student, I feel like I should have put a semi-colon there instead. Yet, I have to admit I am not entirely sure.
“Yet, can peace be real when just one difference throws them on two opposing sides of the street with picket signs clutched like swords above them.” Something inside me is saying that there needs to be another comma in this sentence. Maybe it just needs a complete revision.
I try to stay as active as I possibly can, I like doing things in the yard and cleaning up the house but that seems to take a lot out of me.
John Grady Cole’s character finds much meaning to his life through horses, he learns much about himself through the horses and I believe that he learns that the horses in many ways have souls like humans, his father once said to him, “[…] if a person understood the soul of the horse then he would understand all horses that ever were” (McCarthy 111).
But she like everything he experiences in Mexico are things that are helping him to grow, they will remain in his heart and mind forever but they will no longer be a part of his life, just a part of his dreams.
Sure, she had saved his life, but this wasn’t her problem. The more his head spun and the more blood he swallowed, the more he was sure he was going to pass out. (First sentence feels air tight as far as the commas usage goes. However, I think this second sentence is a stylistic problem all around.)
It makes me happy that there are individuals being elected into Congress that have backgrounds in the LGBTQ community, I saw on the chart that we had our first ever Buddhist Senator, and some members are younger, having been born in the 80’s. (I feel like this one has an issue towards the end. Maybe I need to replace some commas with m-dashes?)
Both are, by definition, means of insurance geared towards the elderly and disabled. (I feel okay with this one)
“Based on my poor knowledge of this complicated community, I chose this group in an attempt to understand the basic struggle of accepting one’s gender identity.”
I think the comma in this sentence might be a comma splice because I placed the comma here as a natural pause which I’ve learned isn’t the best way to judge if a comma is needed. Based on new knowledge I’ve learned in this class I don’t think it is a comma splice because the beginning of the sentence can’t stand alone but I’m not sure if a semicolon would be the better option.
“For further understanding of this very vague explanation of such a broad culture, it is important to acknowledge the difference between gender, sex, gender identity and gender expression.”
I definitely think the first comma in this sentence is a comma splice but I do think there should be some sort of punctuation there. I just don’t know what.
“It is important to understand that while a person can be born a specific sex, this does not mean they choose to identify with that specific gender.”
I think the comma in this sentence is correct but I don’t know the rule behind it so I want more information about it.
1. From a short story titled "Suddenly New Life", which was written for my 12th grade English class (that I took with the juniors, because I took the senior class my junior year): "'Just point and shoot,' was all his local-gun-store-owning uncle told him and everyone else who walked into the store looking to purchase a firearm, so he figured that’s all he needed to know; of course, that theory went out the window when he heard glass breaking, glass from, ironically, a window."
The second comma in the emboldened section just screams comma splice to me. It didn't a good four years ago, but that's actually beneficial. I wouldn't have material for this assignment if I knew it all from the beginning. At this point in time, I'd either use a semicolon or an em dash instead of that comma. Since there's already a semicolon in the sentence, and there isn't a list that uses commas, I'd choose an em dash in this particular situation.
2. An excerpt derived from a pet project of mine, titled "The super adventures of Rex Thunderborg": "I had stayed out past my curfew time but that’s okay because I’m mom’s favorite and not Craig. I was on a mission, a super mision, a misssion so cool that even Evan, the dumb bully, would not want to pick on me (Evan doesn’t pick on me because I’m so much tuffer than him and his mom wants me) and I was brooding thinking about how my dad died and was really sad because dead parents isn’t cool and you should feel sorry for me."
Since this is written in the style and from the perspective of an over-imaginative seven-year old kid, there are many... liberties taken with the approach to grammar and spelling. The young Rex finds himself in that awkward area of knowledge where he knows that commas are used to indicate pauses, but doesn't know that they shouldn't be used for every pause. If I were writing that section in a much more serious and professional manner, I'd prefer to use periods to give the pauses more emphasis. Read with what I refer to as "comma pauses", that part of the passage comes across as somewhat unenthusiastic. With "period pauses", it's the closest to compelling drama a modern-age, American seven-year old can get.
3. The following is a passage pulled from an essay --titled "Diversity Reflection"-- that I had to write for Freshman Seminar back in the fall of 2012: "Despite my lackadaisical approach to diversity, not to mention my couldn’t-care-less attitude, I can still discuss the talking points that set up the body of this essay, so I shall."
Golly was I feeling angsty when I wrote that essay. But enough about that. I feel that in this context, the power the comma has to separate a separate-but-related thought from the rest of a sentence is too weak here, making it read oddly. At this time in my life, I'd feel much more comfortable using em dashes, and even more comfortable using parentheses.
1.)"However, I am not opposed to seeking other arrangements, for the time being." 2.)"Unless we consider both sides, we must consider even our own opinions to be biased." 3.)"The light scanned until it came to the corner of the roof, then paused, revealing the damage caused by the storm." 4.)"The gym is made up of four rooms, the weight room, the crossfit room, the cardio room and the lobby." 5.)"He has committed crimes against society, and he must by custom of law, at least be placed under immediate house arrest."
1. "One reason The Green Knight is given so much more detail may be that he is a representation of a more, realistic round character or idea. "
2. "As we have spoken about in class, there are many co-factors that go into tests that make them somewhat impossible to be an accurate representation of someone’s “intelligence”.
3. "I agree that women should avoid sea food, and further more should be extremely cautious of all of the food they are eating while they are pregnant"
My computer recently got stolen and all of the documents were deleted so I could only pull from things I have done this year! I think the basic problem I have is throwing in commas when I would pause in speech.
"Scene from the play, if I'm not mistaken". I don't even know if this is a sentence the more I think about grammar but I believe I should have written the sentence without the comma.
I can't beliebve I wrote this but here it is. "She fits perfectly into what Chaucer tries to do and that is using a character, opressed in some way, argue thier opinions, etc, and that is what the wife of Bath is doing here." I am not completely sure about the comma usage here. I mean it sounds right in some sense but that doesn't neccessarily mean the comma is used correctly.
"One could very well fall into a trap, that being of someone elses narrative if one isn't careful." Again not sure if this sentence is even correct and no idea if that comma is even needed.
1. "Growing up in Oklahoma I have had significant exposure to Native American culture, uncommon to many other Americans, especially those living in areas with smaller populations of Native Americans. For this I’m grateful, because I would be hard pressed to have a conceivable notion of Native Americans based solely on their depictions in popular culture, specifically film." I'm not sure if my issue here is with commas, or just punctuation in general.
2. "Whether it’s an excuse or a legitimate problem it has definitely plagued many veteran writers over the years, and could arguably be an even more prominent issue in high school classrooms." I get super confused about commas and coordinating conjunction, so I have no clue if this is correct. I also don't know if I needed that comma before so. I'm doubting all punctuation at this point.
3. "In his example he says, “Dental health would seem to occupy the third position of value, and indeed some companies do appeal in this direction” (Killingsworth 9)." I'm wondering if I need the comma after says?
"He turns his attention back to the man on the mound, unshaken by his demeanor." -The biggest issue I have with commas is wanting to put them where I pause in speech. I have read the sentence above many times, and am still not sure it the comma is needed.
"Behind the pitcher’s mound, he notices his teammate is sprinting to second, trying to steal a base." - It think the first comma is correct...the second one stumps me.
"He watches the arms of his opponent rise and fall, and then lunge toward him". - Another pausing problem. When I read this sentence, I pause. However, I think the sentence itself could use more context. Something like: "He watches the arms of his opponent rise and fall, and the body of the pitcher lunge toward him."
1. "Just like life, art isn't black and white and this is something Samantha's parents have never been able to understand."
-Would this be an introductory comma and should I have put a comma after "and" because it could be two independent clauses?
2. "Isabella settled down into her chair and pulled out her iPod that was filled with all of the latest music, though it lacked in other genres, such as classical music."
- I guess this wouldn't be parenthetical because the sentence doesn't make sense without it, but would I have to take the commas out?
3. "The current method to carry out the execution is by lethal injection, which is what was described earlier."
1. Many athletes have had so much talent, and then find out that they cannot perform because of the immediate consequences of not being able to pay for the student-athlete lifestyle.
2. With the amazing career at Texas, he then continued his career and went to the NFL and was drafted by the New Orleans Saints, there he learned he needed a lot more physical and mental stability to be an NFL running back.
3. The road to success becomes a problem for some, and will continue to be a huge problem for people that are supposed to make it but let the fear, temptations, and the media get to them.
18 comments:
Elyse Marquardt
1. "The dramatic change of heart that Huck—and therefore we—have toward Jim the slave is one of the points in the narrative where the first person storytelling works its strongest magic." My question concerning this sentence that I wrote last year is about the em dashes. Could I have used a comma? Or are the em dashes the only punctuation that would work there? The parenthetical phrase IS necessary because my point was that we and the main character are made one in Twain's usage of the first person. However, now that I have read more of Garner's thoughts about punctuation, I am unsure if these em dashes are the only or correct thing that I could have incorporated.
2. "And so the country, despite all its turmoil, continued to run." I would not be criticizing this particular sentence, except for the fact that I used this style of interrupting my own thought to insert a parenthetical phrase several times earlier in the same paper. It gets repetitive. In order to avoid this issue, I could have simply put that phrase-"despite all its turmoil"-at either the beginning or the end of the sentence.
3. "World War I has just begun, and America, along with the rest of the world, is in turmoil." I'm just too comma-happy. The comma before "and" is not necessary whatsoever and even goes so far as to interrupt the flow of the sentence. I've become very aware of this little issue as I read through last year's writings.
Elyse Marquardt
Thank you for your time, your efforts, your initiatives and your concern for your people. (Stylistic Problem?)
For instance, in using poor time-management, I get fidgety, lose concentration, then my mind wonders one million miles away and back again via a paddle boat, unicycle, and Galapagos turtle ride.
Fifteen hours is attainable to some, but when home lives, such as aiding in the care of our elders, working full time jobs, and course work for the demanded number of credit hours is combined into the equation, it makes for a difficult balance to be involved in the tribe as well.
The teacher's job, then, is to encourage and guide students through this model without imposing an interpretation or stock response on them (Perry, 24).
This can be something as significant as verbal confirmation, or as minuscule as evidence that the student has been reading the book in his/her own time.
Nikki Ennis
“It is a wonderful design, flowing around the jar almost as if it is embracing it, or better yet, protecting it.”
I picked to use this sentence purely out of confusion. I remember wondering, as I wrote it, if I had placed my commas correctly. Honestly, I didn’t know if I needed yet another comma after the word ‘or’. I say this because I usually like to enclose phrases such as ‘better yet’ in between commas.
“After all, Tartuffe needs for certain people to believe that he is, in fact, the great man he makes himself out to be, a loving Christian soul that hates anything he perceives as wicked.”
I included this sentence because of the very last comma. Now that I am a more experienced student, I feel like I should have put a semi-colon there instead. Yet, I have to admit I am not entirely sure.
“Yet, can peace be real when just one difference throws them on two opposing sides of the street with picket signs clutched like swords above them.”
Something inside me is saying that there needs to be another comma in this sentence. Maybe it just needs a complete revision.
In the poem Going Home Maurice Kenny paints a vivid picture of what it is like for Native youth that have chosen to leave, to return home once more.
However, before America became, well, what we know as America, there was a rich culture already thriving on this land.
Somewhere down the line our ancestors came to America, to seek religious freedom, escape from oppression, or any other reason they may have had.
I either misplace a comma, or am not sure if one is appropriate within these sentences.
The foot has two types of arches, the longitudinal, which exists along the length of the foot, and the transverse, what we know as the width.
The clavicle fractures more often than the scapula, because it isn't made to hold weight the same way.
The pathway of breath: it begins in the pharynx, then travels to the trachea, the bronchus, bronchiole, aveolus, and finally the lung.
I think I just wrote sloppy because I had a coach for a professor and it was a summer class so I didn't proof-read. ;)
He sits, day by day, in his cracked brown chair, then slowly moves to his wheelchair, and back again to his bed.
The day he lost a part of himself was like any other day, which is what made it seem surreal.
People come by and love talking with him, hearing his stories of fantastic voyages, and marveling at the specific detail he speaks in conversations.
Commas!!! I look back at these now and think of how I could have made my sentences much more simple.
I try to stay as active as I possibly can, I like doing things in the yard and cleaning up the house but that seems to take a lot out of me.
John Grady Cole’s character finds much meaning to his life through horses, he learns much about himself through the horses and I believe that he learns that the horses in many ways have souls like humans, his father once said to him, “[…] if a person understood the soul of the horse then he would understand all horses that ever were” (McCarthy 111).
But she like everything he experiences in Mexico are things that are helping him to grow, they will remain in his heart and mind forever but they will no longer be a part of his life, just a part of his dreams.
Comma splices everywhere! Don't trust the pause.
Sure, she had saved his life, but this wasn’t her problem. The more his head spun and the more blood he swallowed, the more he was sure he was going to pass out. (First sentence feels air tight as far as the commas usage goes. However, I think this second sentence is a stylistic problem all around.)
It makes me happy that there are individuals being elected into Congress that have backgrounds in the LGBTQ community, I saw on the chart that we had our first ever Buddhist Senator, and some members are younger, having been born in the 80’s. (I feel like this one has an issue towards the end. Maybe I need to replace some commas with m-dashes?)
Both are, by definition, means of insurance geared towards the elderly and disabled. (I feel okay with this one)
I'm painfully wordy. I need to stop that...
Rebecca Fletcher
“Based on my poor knowledge of this complicated community, I chose this group in an attempt to understand the basic struggle of accepting one’s gender identity.”
I think the comma in this sentence might be a comma splice because I placed the comma here as a natural pause which I’ve learned isn’t the best way to judge if a comma is needed. Based on new knowledge I’ve learned in this class I don’t think it is a comma splice because the beginning of the sentence can’t stand alone but I’m not sure if a semicolon would be the better option.
“For further understanding of this very vague explanation of such a broad culture, it is important to acknowledge the difference between gender, sex, gender identity and gender expression.”
I definitely think the first comma in this sentence is a comma splice but I do think there should be some sort of punctuation there. I just don’t know what.
“It is important to understand that while a person can be born a specific sex, this does not mean they choose to identify with that specific gender.”
I think the comma in this sentence is correct but I don’t know the rule behind it so I want more information about it.
1. From a short story titled "Suddenly New Life", which was written for my 12th grade English class (that I took with the juniors, because I took the senior class my junior year): "'Just point and shoot,' was all his local-gun-store-owning uncle told him and everyone else who walked into the store looking to purchase a firearm, so he figured that’s all he needed to know; of course, that theory went out the window when he heard glass breaking, glass from, ironically, a window."
The second comma in the emboldened section just screams comma splice to me. It didn't a good four years ago, but that's actually beneficial. I wouldn't have material for this assignment if I knew it all from the beginning. At this point in time, I'd either use a semicolon or an em dash instead of that comma. Since there's already a semicolon in the sentence, and there isn't a list that uses commas, I'd choose an em dash in this particular situation.
2. An excerpt derived from a pet project of mine, titled "The super adventures of Rex Thunderborg": "I had stayed out past my curfew time but that’s okay because I’m mom’s favorite and not Craig. I was on a mission, a super mision, a misssion so cool that even Evan, the dumb bully, would not want to pick on me (Evan doesn’t pick on me because I’m so much tuffer than him and his mom wants me) and I was brooding thinking about how my dad died and was really sad because dead parents isn’t cool and you should feel sorry for me."
Since this is written in the style and from the perspective of an over-imaginative seven-year old kid, there are many... liberties taken with the approach to grammar and spelling. The young Rex finds himself in that awkward area of knowledge where he knows that commas are used to indicate pauses, but doesn't know that they shouldn't be used for every pause. If I were writing that section in a much more serious and professional manner, I'd prefer to use periods to give the pauses more emphasis. Read with what I refer to as "comma pauses", that part of the passage comes across as somewhat unenthusiastic. With "period pauses", it's the closest to compelling drama a modern-age, American seven-year old can get.
3. The following is a passage pulled from an essay --titled "Diversity Reflection"-- that I had to write for Freshman Seminar back in the fall of 2012: "Despite my lackadaisical approach to diversity, not to mention my couldn’t-care-less attitude, I can still discuss the talking points that set up the body of this essay, so I shall."
Golly was I feeling angsty when I wrote that essay. But enough about that. I feel that in this context, the power the comma has to separate a separate-but-related thought from the rest of a sentence is too weak here, making it read oddly. At this time in my life, I'd feel much more comfortable using em dashes, and even more comfortable using parentheses.
1.)"However, I am not opposed to seeking other arrangements, for the time being."
2.)"Unless we consider both sides, we must consider even our own opinions to be biased."
3.)"The light scanned until it came to the corner of the roof, then paused, revealing the damage caused by the storm."
4.)"The gym is made up of four rooms, the weight room, the crossfit room, the cardio room and the lobby."
5.)"He has committed crimes against society, and he must by custom of law, at least be placed under immediate house arrest."
1. "One reason The Green Knight is given so much more detail may be that he is a representation of a more, realistic round character or idea. "
2. "As we have spoken about in class, there are many co-factors that go into tests that make them somewhat impossible to be an accurate representation of someone’s “intelligence”.
3. "I agree that women should avoid sea food, and further more should be extremely cautious of all of the food they are eating while they are pregnant"
My computer recently got stolen and all of the documents were deleted so I could only pull from things I have done this year! I think the basic problem I have is throwing in commas when I would pause in speech.
"Scene from the play, if I'm not mistaken". I don't even know if this is a sentence the more I think about grammar but I believe I should have written the sentence without the comma.
I can't beliebve I wrote this but here it is.
"She fits perfectly into what Chaucer tries to do and that is using a character, opressed in some way, argue thier opinions, etc, and that is what the wife of Bath is doing here." I am not completely sure about the comma usage here. I mean it sounds right in some sense but that doesn't neccessarily mean the comma is used correctly.
"One could very well fall into a trap, that being of someone elses narrative if one isn't careful." Again not sure if this sentence is even correct and no idea if that comma is even needed.
1. "Growing up in Oklahoma I have had significant exposure to Native American culture, uncommon to many other Americans, especially those living in areas with smaller populations of Native Americans. For this I’m grateful, because I would be hard pressed to have a conceivable notion of Native Americans based solely on their depictions in popular culture, specifically film." I'm not sure if my issue here is with commas, or just punctuation in general.
2. "Whether it’s an excuse or a legitimate problem it has definitely plagued many veteran writers over the years, and could arguably be an even more prominent issue in high school classrooms." I get super confused about commas and coordinating conjunction, so I have no clue if this is correct. I also don't know if I needed that comma before so. I'm doubting all punctuation at this point.
3. "In his example he says, “Dental health would seem to occupy the third position of value, and indeed some companies do appeal in this direction” (Killingsworth 9)." I'm wondering if I need the comma after says?
"He turns his attention back to the man on the mound, unshaken by his demeanor."
-The biggest issue I have with commas is wanting to put them where I pause in speech. I have read the sentence above many times, and am still not sure it the comma is needed.
"Behind the pitcher’s mound, he notices his teammate is sprinting to second, trying to steal a base."
- It think the first comma is correct...the second one stumps me.
"He watches the arms of his opponent rise and fall, and then lunge toward him".
- Another pausing problem. When I read this sentence, I pause. However, I think the sentence itself could use more context. Something like: "He watches the arms of his opponent rise and fall, and the body of the pitcher lunge toward him."
1. "Just like life, art isn't black and white and this is something Samantha's parents have never been able to understand."
-Would this be an introductory comma and should I have put a comma after "and" because it could be two independent clauses?
2. "Isabella settled down into her chair and pulled out her iPod that was filled with all of the latest music, though it lacked in other genres, such as classical music."
- I guess this wouldn't be parenthetical because the sentence doesn't make sense without it, but would I have to take the commas out?
3. "The current method to carry out the execution is by lethal injection, which is what was described earlier."
- Is this a comma splice?
1. Many athletes have had so much talent, and then find out that they cannot perform because of the immediate consequences of not being able to pay for the student-athlete lifestyle.
2. With the amazing career at Texas, he then continued his career and went to the NFL and was drafted by the New Orleans Saints, there he learned he needed a lot more physical and mental stability to be an NFL running back.
3. The road to success becomes a problem for some, and will continue to be a huge problem for people that are supposed to make it but let the fear, temptations, and the media get to them.
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